Guess its time for new additions to this place. The melancholic feel of this place has to have something positive to it. Dont know what more additons but for starters a random tid bit of what made me smile, feel happy, inspired and alive will get posted under this tag.
I am going to one of my team member’s wedding today. Its a conscious effort for me too stay strong and feel normal in a huge crowd. But this is the only way I can get back to my familiar surroundings with a new altered perception.
I am getting my treatment done in a different city and have come down to mumbai for a week just so that I feel in touch with my life again rather than living as a recluse in that city until the treatment gets over. Though I have my family there, what I miss is the routine of this life, the daily travel to work, the hustle and bustle of work, weekend getaways with friends, playing kids in the park of my complex, the comforting slip into my favourite sofa and watching TV…the feel of MY life the way it was. I am back but with a heavy sense of disorientation yet with an intense sense of familiarity. So, today will be a gradual step towards entering the old life with a new outlook.
So off I go to the wedding and meet all my friends and team members. I have been very fortunate to have a team and boss who is all like a family and they all have been very very supportive of my situation. I am all excited to meet them..
So off i go to Firangi Paani..
This is like a really boring thing now. I keep talking about getting back to blogging and then a little fire and then it all fizzles out. But a long overdue meeting with Ideasmithy got me thinking..WHY NOT? lets try it once again…ok I won’t make any promises of how long and consistent am going to be with blogging but let me atleast start it.
So I AM back to the virtual world with some apprehensions. Its been like a very brief association with blogging ever since i last left it somewhere in the winter of 2006.After that have made quite a few unsuccessful attempts at resuming it but never worked out. Hope it does this time. I can get my inspiration from Ideasmithy for she has stuck to her passion for blogging. Which is precisely why I am back here.Thanks Ideasmithy.
From a Confuzzled Blogspot url to a makeover from the Boulevard of Broken Dreams to the Shadows of a Faceless Face and now to the blankspaces of I…I have been struggling with my identity.
Somehow my fingers tremble at the keyboard and are making so many mistakes. Reminds me of the familiar feeling of entering a new class joining a new school after dad’s transfers. Nervous as hell with the fear of being judged, ridiculed, and the anxiety of proving my worth and making new friends. Its all coming back now as I begin blogging (which has been a very important phase in my life when i did blog seriously and consistently).
I was telling Ideasmithy that, not that i dont want to blog or don’t have anything to write about. Just that every time I sit down to pour it out I can’t wait to get it all out at once. And then I just give up. But i am going to take it slow and steady.One step at a time. Would probably give me a sense of purpose which I am desperately looking for.
I already feel thrilled at the thought of getting back all my thoughts in some form of coherence like before.
May be I am putting together patches of incidences through this space.
So let me do that and patch up strewn pieces of lost, found and yet to be experienced experiences.