You did all that you could

I wonder if I can let myself believe this. Where have i reached? All i want to do is erase every memory of you. Every waking moment is spent ignoring the ache and desperation and love for you. How many more times do i have to go through this? For the sake of my sanity i wished you never happened to me. But that is not true. When today i dont even know what holds for me in the future, i only get past each self doubting and uncertain moment with the memory of the time spent with you. How can i not cherish it. But also, how can i forget the way you’ve shunned me.

Kuch bacha hi nahi darmiyaan..saans leti hain dooriyan…

I can feel words swelling up in my throat. Struggling to reach out to you. I want to scream ENOUGH!!!. Stop please..dont smother me..please. How did i reach this stage? No matter how much i love you i want you out of my life. That is the only way i can live another moment. I have tried enough. I cant anymore. There is nothing that i can do now. I have done all i could. I couldnt have done it alone. I would have needed you to walk with me and make this work together. But you never saw the life in the love, in the promises, in the pleas. I only chose to love you. But you chose to hurt me for doing that.

I didnt ask for much. I only wanted your memory to be mine..but you seemed to have ruined even that for me.

All we ever did was say goodbye…Why?